Well... that was a shock.

I woke up today dreading my fill... I hadn't seen my surgeon since November. I haven't had a very healthy Christmas and I can honestly say I have had more than my fair share of wine.

I walk towards his scales after knowing what mine had been saying the past week. Sigh and gulp I jump on.

Holy hell! I have actually lost weight and a lot more than I thought!.. oh and I had hit my target of pre wedding weight. He was surprised to see how shocked I was. And I told him I haven't. Been overly good. He laughed and said it was Christmas and there is no harm in treating myself over a few weeks.

I had a small 0.25ml put in as while I had no restriction feeling he seems to think my band is now working borderline green zone so he's happy. The main thing is I have taught my body to use the band and not let it control me too much. And it's showing with 1kg a week weightloss since November.

So I have now lost 31.5kg!!!!

And I am 4.9kg away from my next goal :) pre Hannah weight :)

PISSED off ....

So Herald Sun posted an article about 2005 winner of Australian Idol  - Kate DeAraugo losing weight.  BUT apparently it was controversial :/ ...
Thinking she must of developed an eating disorder - okay that's a little bit of a low blow but I honestly couldn't think of anything else.

I wasn't expecting her controversial weight loss to be GASTRIC SLEEVE!!!!  Gastric Sleeve is the step UP from banding - they remove 80% of your stomach and you're left with a permanent smaller stomach.  

Here is the link to the story - Kate DeAraugo Weight Loss

Coming from a fellow WLS patient I was so happy for her - it's not easy bringing it out in the open how you lost weight if this was your option.  Because it CAN cause a bit of an attack on us.  Comments on the Herald Sun Facebook page with this article were quite horrible to read.  Being a mum I have copped it - I didn't breastfeed I was a bad mother because I didn't try harder, I used disposable nappies (HELL SHOOT ME NOW), I rocked to sleep, I snuggled then when they should of been in bed... BUT I had no idea I would continue to get criticism for the way I CHOSE to lose weight...

Apparently people like myself are LAZY for choosing this option and we don't work hard enough.  Excuse the language coming up.  BUT FUCK YOU FUCKTARDS!!!  I work pretty damn hard with my band for it to work at it's best.  It's my TOOL it's not something I can get and go out and continue to eat the way I did before.  I no longer can eat KFC or Maccas, and if I do it's generally the healthier option and less off it.  I also didn't get FAT from sitting in front of the telly for hours on end eating crap food.  I still ate my salads and a lot healthier than my bean pole husband.  My issues with weight were more to do with the medication I was on for depression.  It's a very taboo issue anti depressants but for me they made me retain a lot of fluid and weight.  What I did eat, healthy or not would stay there.  I exercised at one stage going 4-5 days a week and was putting ON weight.  I was more depressed than ever because I was doing ALL the right things BUT I was gaining.  So I gave up and that's when the bad eating started. 

People who assume I have it easy with my band have never obviously spent a day NOT eating due to not being hungry, had a previous blockage so you need to rest the stomach for a little, vomiting, shoulder tip pain when you have too much gas in the stomach, just WANTING a quick meal because you need to head out... There have been days I haven't eaten lunch because I was in a rush between things (like kinder and school work), days like those would be lovely to be able to make up a quick sandwich on the run but I can't - yes a lot comes down to time management BUT I also take up to 45mins to eat ONE MEAL.  Surgeon told me to stop at 20, and generally I do but depending on the meal I give myself a little longer.  I also can't have a nice glass of wine with my pasta.  I can't drink and eat at the same time!  If I do... hello blockage. 

To anyone who thinks that I have done this to make it EASY walk a freaking month in my shoes!  It's not easy and at times I hate myself for having the damn surgery.  Being a woman also fucks with your band as you come into different parts of your cycle.  During ovulation I still crave chocolate and I bloat like HELL to the point I can only eat MUSH food.  Funnily enough when I get my period I am not too bad but I chug a lot more water.

I am sure those that read this don't think I took the easy option - but I am sure there are quite a few who do.  And you know what I don't care if you think I have taken the easy option.  Live your life where you LOVE TO JUDGE others for THEIR choices.  Just be lucky that YOU could do it on your own, and be thankful that I would NEVER judge YOU for your choices.

Been a bit slack

Not sure who is reading this blog - but I should do a post to update you all since I haven't posted since October (oops, my bad).

So let's break it down since my last post - I finished my semester of school and passed and then we had Christmas along with parties and running around in between.

Christmas was good - I was able to have a Pork Roast with my family and I was able to do it blockage free!  I had an extremely small serve compared to what I used to eat in the past.  In fact, at Christmas I wouldn't hold back on having seconds or thirds, and not small servings either.  I was also able to have a small amount of trifle and pavlova.  So I was happy.  I contribute being able to eat more than normal with my band due to the fact my surgeon only popped a small amount of fluid last time.  It was both out decision to do this so when we went away I didn't have to worry about complications with my band and being too tight.  In saying that I didn't put on any weight over this period during Christmas.  I maintained which is what I am happy with!

Boxing Day saw us leave for our camping holiday - this was my big test.  Camping holidays aren't very band friendly when it comes to food.  But I made sure I had stuff with me I COULD eat so the 3 days we were there I succeeded - unlike my alcohol intake LOL.  That was a little naughty of me.  But I was walking to and fro the toilet block ALL the time, so that counts for something ;)

Unfortunately our camping trip was cut short when 100km/h (plus) winds ripped through our campsite ripping out tent and gazebo.  We had to come home early.  Since then I have found it hard to find my groove with food meal preparation - I am not eating the best and I think it does boil down to how the camping trip ended.  I was a little down in the dumps about losing camping gear we had just brought this year and not having the money to replace it.  But I am getting there.  My water intake is a lot better today so I am happy with that.

On a good note - I am not 6 months POST operation - and today I officially weighed in 30.2kg lighter from my starting date!!!!  I made my first BIG goal.  Now I am taking it in smaller amounts and working in 5kg's lots.  I am hoping to have lost 60kg by my birthday :)

How does the Band Work - and what is it?

So how does this band work?  In my previous post I stated it wasn't second stomach.  And that is true.  It does NOT give me a second stomach.  What is does is create a funnel (what the weightloss surgery dietician calls it).

So I am going to break it down for you into parts - and this is where you need to imagine it in your mind.  And then I will post a photo - see if you were right. 

The band comes in 3 sections, the PORT, the TUBE and the BAND.  The port sits on the inside of me just located near my belly button.  You cannot see it, you can't really feel it and honestly the only thing you can see is my scar.  The Tube is what connects the port to the band.  And the band is the vital part.  It sits at the top of my stomach.  Remember those strict few weeks AFTER my surgery.  This was enforced so I have my stomach enough time to mould over the band.  The surgeon actually stitches part of my stomach OVER the band, but the resting and strict eating allows that to heal forming a more solid healing process.

So the band itself, like I said sits on the top of my stomach - and it actually sits just above the hunger receptors.  I was told in my first dietician appointment that BEFORE the band most people just eat and eat until those receptors scream I AM FULL!  In my case my stomach was so large I either ignored those screams or I kept on eating because my brain never triggered that feeling.  With the band because it takes a while for food to pass through the funnel the receptors are triggered quicker.  Sending that message to the brain - hey I am FULL you can stop eating.  And that could happen after 6 mouthfuls of food (that depends on how much fluid is in your band).  That's the basics of the band.  The port is where the surgeon sticks in a needle and fills my band with fluid.  Or saline :)

This is what tightens the band and this is what the tubing is for - it takes the fluid from the needle/port to the band. 

There are different size bands - I have a large on that can hold 15mls of fluid.  I currently have 7mls (I think LOL).

So here is a diagram of what it is...

No I don't have a second stomach...

Having a band people probably think I just eat and eat until I am full and that's it. Nope it's nothing like that at all :(

In fact I endure days where every meal I have what's called a "blockage". This is where food doesn't go through.

My method of eating is small bites think... toddler size. I chew and chew for approx 40 secs. I swallow... if it's not chewed it gets stuck. And then I have this horrible pain. Kind of like indigestion. And I can't eat or drink until it has passed through my band. Otherwise it makes it a lot worse. You have two options with blockages... wait until it goes through OR ... yep bring it back up. Not pretty and I dread going places to eat now.

Oh and after a severe blockage I can't eat.... so imagine if that blockage is on your first meal and first mouthful?... it's hard.

That photo of my lunch... I will be full quite shortly and I have already had one minor blockage.

10 Weeks POST Surgery

So I am 10 weeks post surgery - but 14 weeks INTO my journey.
I have had a rollercoaster beginning.

I have now had 4 fills into my band - which basically means I have fluid in my band that makes the entry to my stomach a little tighter.  I have my moments where I forget to eat slow - forget not to drink directly after eating - foods get stuck... it's a horrible feeling but I am getting better.  I am now on elimination of foods I can't eat.

I won't get too much into the way the band works as I will do that in my next post :)

But I am happier - I now have a pile of clothes that are too big!  TOO BIG!!!

I have lost 21.3kg since my journey started back on July 1st 2014.  That's an average of 1.5kg a week which is what I was aiming for :)

People will comment - but I shrug it off.  I may be losing weight, but I still have the mind of where I was 14 weeks ago.

I am popping up a photo - I won't be revealing weights until I hit my goal ;)

May was at my heaviest - September was 15.7kg down - October current 21.3kg down total

Surgery - 29th July

So today is surgery day - D day so to speak. 
I left my last post with me near in tears with my two youngest children walking out of the hospital.

The process at the hospital is fairly quick.  I am surprised but I guess not shocked.  And I find out I am first to go into surgery - GULP!

I have my pre-admission check in and I am handed these horrible disposable undies bahahahah they're not going to fit my fat ass!  And they didn't.  So I went in BUTT naked ;)

I was laying in the bed waiting to be wheeled into surgery and I am getting nervous, sooky and quite emotional.  WTF am I doing?  Too late now, I see my surgeon, I get checked over one last time... and I am wheeled into theater.

The last thing I remember is laying on the operating table talking... next thing I know I am awake in recovery and groggy and sore... oh so sore!

I am then wheeled into my room and I doze in and out of sleep.  I get a room buddy at this stage, Alicia.  I am glad I had her :)  She made my stay so much easier and better.  We talked a lot and I think at one stage a nurse asked if I was OK with her being in the same room as me.  LOL.  The next morning waking up I realised I had this band - my life had changed.  And it was true due to swelling, I didn't feel hungry.  I probably had a coffee and a mouthful of milkshake stuff and I was full.  I was discharged at 10am and I had added Alicia on Facebook :)

I went home and rested up - the shoulder tip pain started around now.  Bloody horrible.